As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
