Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
