you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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