If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
