dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can I color on your dick again?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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