so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
