Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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