Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have grass duct taped all over my body
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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