May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
