I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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