went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
