I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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