He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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