Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
