I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
