You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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