oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We are two peas in an std pod
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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