Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
