I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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