So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
