absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize