Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
