Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
