He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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