His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
