Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
