Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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