stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize