fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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