Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
