Are we in a gay sports bar?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
