You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
