So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
