I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
