we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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