Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
