Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
