What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
