Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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