What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
