This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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