There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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