don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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