You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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