Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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