it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize