I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
