Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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