Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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