If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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