her vagine was all disorganized.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
