The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
