Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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