I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
