with your own penis?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
