i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So. Much. Porn.
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