it wasn't lemon gatorade
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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