the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
