i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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