Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't think brook has ever known best
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
