so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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