Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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