Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
