he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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