It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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