I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
