Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize