Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
