Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just tell him i said nine months
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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