We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
