so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
